☻Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines.

☻Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom.

☻Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything.

☻Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia.

☻Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?"

☻Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?"

☻Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg.

☻Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar.

☻Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is.

☻Today, my boyfriend admitted to checking out other girls when he's with me. In his defense, "he doesn't look at their face or boobs. Just their ass."

☻Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter.

☻Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet.